Habitualchaos

Just wanted to take this opprtunity to introduce you all to my newest nephew, Owen Lawrence Whitmore. He was born shortly after 3pm, February 3rd 2004 aka (what is now) yesterday afternoon.

At just over 9lbs... my sister in her own words "passed a bowling ball" yesterday.

Been thinking lately about motivation for me to actually write stuff... as it seems no matter how much I feel like I want to, I just dont do anything. After reviewing all available options with my marketing team... weve decided it might be worth a try to tell a few stories of my past.

Its gonna take a little bit for me to think of some decent ones... as I am a fairly boring person. I should have a couple worth sharing though... least I hope I do. This shit better be good though... Id hate for some dipshit to lose his job over this.

After long thought... I decided Im not gonna give Valentines Day the satisfaction of me wearing black or ranting on and on about how much I hate this fucking holiday.

Im just gonna sit back, relax and spend this VDay the same as I have the others... by not doing anything and wanting to commit vehicular homicide on those people who do enjoy it.

Nyah nyah.

Ive been fighting, or trying to fight, this weird pain I have in my shoulder/neck since yesterday. I have no idea where it came from... it just crept up on me when I woke up yesterday afternoon.

The reason its weird to me, is because its not muscular; its not pain associated with the movement of my neck or arm... Ive been able to move my arm and neck as I normally do all weekend. This odd pain just lingers and spikes whenever I take a really deep breath... but I have no idea why or what I may have done to cause it hence the title of this post, since I turn 30 tomorrow.

Ive never really known... is 30 the age where this shit starts? Just random pain here and there that no one and nothing can explain. I didnt think 30 was the age that starts... but like I said, I dont know what caused this odd pain Ive been going through this weekend. Ive just been noticing little things in the past few months that have made me wonder about this shit.

Its just inconvenient is all. Ive only got this work week before my trip to visit my best bud John and his future wife in Sacramento. I dont wanna walk into Cali this achey... I wanna go and be able to do stuff.

This weird pains even kept me from getting started on putting my new design together... fucker. The design is done (only took me a few months)... I just gotta get it up and running before I leave.

Good thing I got a couple days before lift-off... and I am counting them down.

Oh yeah... I almost forgot.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me... blah blah blah, and you smell like one too... and many more.

Its weird, I dont feel 30. I am 30 but I dont feel 30. I havent really known how to react throughout the day today. Ive greeted all the birthday well-wishers with a smail and a thanks... cause it is nice to have people in your life that care enough to say it. I thank God every day for all of them.

My thing has been that status-of-life thing... feeling a little down at where Im at turning 30. Not quite as bad as a "oh feel so sorry for me" kinda thing... since Im not naive enough to think Im that bad off. Its just one of those "Im not where I thought Id be" kinda things. Just makes me feel a little weird is all. I mean I am working towards a better future for myself staying at home right now... its just the days here and there that I still wonder if its worth it to stay here and pay off debt or go back out on my own and live paycheck to paycheck. It sounds stupid saying it that way... but after working so hard to get out of here once, I have my days that being back here effects me and even living paycheck to paycheck on my own doesnt sound so bad.

Maybe my change of scenery soon will help me out a little... 4 days and counting.

Im not normally one who makes references to anything religious, as I fell from grace quite a few years back. Today isnt for me though... its not about me.

A good friend of mine, someone I work with, someone who looked out for me when I was freelancing in 2002... just found out she had a miscarriage, or we in the office just found out she did. As I said, I am not very religious anymore... but I want to ask anyone who still reads this thing to offer a prayer for her (her names Jill) and her family.

The subject line says it all. Its been a good long time, but I finally finished the brand, spanking new design for my little online home. Its not quite complete yet... as evidence that the other sections of the site are "scribbled" out for now.

I imposed a deadline on myself to at least get the new design up and running with the journal before I leave for California tomorrow... well I made it with a few minutes to spare. The process of getting this up and running has been a long one... sometimes an irritating one too.

Anyone who knows me knows that with the 2nd incarnation of my site... I had at least 13 different templates (or designs) going before I decided on the frameset version (ugh) you saw previously. I was well on my way to doing the same thing with this new version... as I didnt quite have 13, but at least half that number of designs for this version of the site. One day I finally sat down, and told myself I was starting one final template and not starting any others... I was working through this one or nothing. It took me quite a bit of time even after that to get it done... as I moved this and that around to make it what I wanted.

The deadline of getting it done before I leave got my ass moving to finally get it done and up. Deadlines are always good for that... or usually are. My other main reason is because I plan to have a picturejournal up for every day Im in California and wanted to have a new fresh place to put it.

I even brought the archives back... I cant remember why, but there here now.

So here it is, but unfortunately not for surfing yet... thats gonna take a little bit longer.

Well, I made it. I am here on the west coast with no mishaps to record and ready to try and have a good time. I feel a little weird being here... but thats prolly just some jitters considering the trip.

Not much else to say at the moment... as this is simply to let everyone know I made it safe and sound. Look for my picturjournal late this evening or tomorrow morning.